A Prayer for Us!

An advanced gift for you!

I have a prayer for us, you see, 
A prayer I pray silently. 

An image I see, fleeting and free,

Of you and me in this world, we weave so carefully.

I want to experience the world holding your hand, 

The joys and laughter and all the in-between silent sound. 

I want to cry like our souls could tear us apart,

And still know the other would help us pick up the broken parts.

And while we share tears and dreams and glory, 

Build a castle together with all our broken stories.

I want to laugh so much our stomachs ache, 

And feel our souls rise, floating awake.

I want to dive deep into the sea with you, 

And search for our deep, darkest secrets hidden from our view.

I want to climb efforts of mountains together, 

Just to get a better view of each other. 

And go hunting in places we haven't been, 

Searching for our bhooth and bhoothanis. 

I want to sleep inside our hugs, 

Cuddled cosy, tucked in our arms, safe and snug.

I want to drink your kisses, stolen from through the night.

Steal our mundane touches and create a hidden world in plain sight.

I want to be drunk with love and care, 

And feel so full my heart couldn't bear. 

I want to worship the world that created you,

And bath in each other's presence, so true.

I want a garden full of flowers and birds, 

A testimony to our growth beyond words. 

See our inner children dance in it in giggles,

Swim around with runny noses and playful naughty wiggles.

I want all this and more beyond. 

I want us to meet us and exchange secret notes in the crowd. 

I want this prayer for us to stay! 

For now, tomorrow and every day! 

Holding each other tight, a path we’ve begun,

A whole love story waiting to be sung!

- 🤎

The Cry

My eyeliner might have invited you, 
Or the curves I don't care about. 
Maybe the tailor stitched the clothes too tight, 
Perhaps the mistake is all mine. 

My long hair is quite seducing, I fear;
With my almond eyes, I see too clear.
And with every breath I take, I ask;
I am making someone to me attract. 

Of course its my fault. Who am I kidding ?
Of course the blame I bear, I know I shouldn't be living. 
Maybe it was better to be dead in my birth bed. 
Maybe it was better to never have taken my first step.

Now, complaints and pains are all I have, 
To share and to make you understand. 
How much more can I not scream my voice, 
Or wrap my hand around my mouth to hide my cry.

You'll see me weighted, hiding in plain sight, 
My body isn't your game, nor should be my life. 
My sisters lie dead beneath, in the soil I deserve not to live in, 
Our souls killed with each life, with every news, a part of us dies within.

Maybe the problem is us, 
After all, we are sharing the air you breath in. 
Of course, the problem is us, 
Now shall we beg you for our lives and of our kins?

Grey at Birth

I have a child in me, never quite born,

Died at birth, in a stillborn's mournful yawn.

The baby was born a woman, so serene,

With her head too big, her toes too sleek and sheen.

Her hair had greyed and her lips had crumbled. 

A dead soul born, her beauty a struggle.

Her soul wasn't breathing, but her heart sang a song,

Of lullabies and dreams, where she didn't belong.

She seemed fine, but just not right,

Cheeks grey, clothes dark, eyes empty in the night.

Her smile cracked a little, lips not quite pink,

She felt like a stone, and still lives like one within.

The Whisperer's Soliloquy

Hush, Oh! dear demon,
Sleep in tonight. 
You won't find a friend out just yet, 
Nobody to understand.

Quiet, Oh! little devil, 
Less screams to be heard.
Your beauty might scare them, 
You are yet to be loved.

Sleep, Oh! dear trouble, 
It's too lonely out here.
I wish you dream of a world, 
Where we could exist without fear.

Hide, Oh! little anger,
You have no one who'll understand.
Your scars would scare them, 
And no one would ask you why.

Hush, Oh! dear demon,
Find solace in your solitute.
Its better alone unheard,
Than to be misunderstood.

Forgive, Oh! dear devil's,
I cant speak your name. 
For saying your word might be an invite,
For all the trouble they won't claim.

 
Hush! All of you now,
You may start a silence war.
Of love, inclusion and compassion, 

Tears might finally meet joy.

Apologies! dear neglects,
For having celebrated you not just yet.
I know I tend to you in hiding, 
I feed your souls in the bed.

 
Silence! dear,
Stay put some more.
I can't tend to you just yet,
I can only pretend to be a foe.

Quiet! you little troublemakers,
Stay in the shadows a bit longer.
You will be welcomed with blood and blades,
Never with the care of a lover.

Wait! my dear ones,
One day I shall rejoice you all.
And walk hand in hand with anger,
And trouble and tears and joy.

The Write Way

I write when things are unsettled in my mind.

I write when things I say aren't right.
I write when I'm human and feel too lost.
I write when there is someone but still can't talk. 

I write when I aint understood and accepted as I am.
Silly stupid serious, it's all packed in one tight box.
I write cause the paper isn't too quick to judge. 
I write to surrender to the inner touch.

I write cause here there is no competition to win.
I write cause no ego clashes with kin. 
I write so that my tears get hugged as I say
"Whatever I try, it’s ok to fail". 

I write cause I breathe these words I can’t say 
I write when it’s bright or a gloomy day
I write cause I can’t live without 
These words that make sense, that reason around.

I write when I’m broken, piece by piece I’ll patch 
Each memory, each remark, going batch by batch 
I write cause it resonates things I’d like to hear 
I write to be less lonely, in my mind and in my fears.

One Minus Two

Two poems lie in a line,

Walked hand-in-hand but though;

One was written over the other,

Only their creator knew so.

They read and were being read together,

Hugging the ink of each other tight.

But sense they made not,

Like these words I now write.

One was Calmness , the other Conflict.

Don’t you fall for their names.

Calmness could turn into a rage,

While Conflict would just sit in her space.

Easily misunderstood were they,

Their names their biggest bias.

Always having to prove their point,

“Their silence became our biggest chaos.”

Fed up of their cycle,

They shifted to different lines,

Packed their bags, shoes and socks,

Even divided their wines.

So now, you’ll read this poem,

Cause in a line you let them not.

Look closely between the lines, dear reader,

A poem in a poem you might not loathe.

Our Fight

Our fight just grew up, my dear

It grew boobs and muscles and thick black moustache.

Our fights started wearing stilettos instead of sneakers and short dress instead of shorts.

Our fight now hangs out in the pub more than a playground and loves smoke more than coke.

Lollipops and fairytales doesn’t excite our fight any more.

Is our fight getting too old?

Our fight doesn’t trust as much, my love

Our fight is a lot more scared ,

Of falling, hurting , bruising, scars and marks.

Our fight  gets offended, let down and hurt.

Our fight cant cry, or fight;

Our fight no longer wails like a child.

Our fight only does whats needed and has strong opinions about things

Our fight is a rebel,an activism- fighting genders and equality and questioning all social norms of things,

Our fight now types more than write, Our fight doesn’t smell books anymore.

Our fight is in a hurry to fight.

To get things out and get things right.

Our fight now tries hard to smile and please.

To have a logical explanation, to not be sad without a reason for things

Our fight finds it difficult to go to sleep at night

Our fight now has filters for others delight

Our fight is too scared to scream and dream.

I wish our fight had never grown up with me.

Our fight is more perfect now;Fighting in pure white,

Our fight uses proper grammer and pronunciations always done right.

Our fight doesn’t laugh with our mouths open,

Our fight will just giggle once in a while.

Our fight is much more grown up now,

Our fight is more practical and logical and right.

Our fight was young and stupid,

Covered in mud and dirt and stains from the previous meal.

Our fight was loud and mad and screaming

Mixing languages as and when it pleased.

Our fight was full of  scars and bruises

Flaunting it like a proud golden trophy

Alas,

Our fight is an adult now , my dear

I wish our fight never grew up with me.

Lament

Of late, I had caught you mourn between your smile.

And time and again,I  had found you hiding wide open in a crowd.

But now that you lie before me, so still.

Your youth, your life sucked out of your breath.

Would you cheat, would you still lie?

Would those tricks still amuse you,

When in tears, your women cry?

'Cause if they do, my love, teach me so,

How to stay still, how to stay strong.

The Judas Kiss

These words won’t rhyme.

Nor will they fall in a prose.

But I’ll write from my soul,

‘Cause tonight nothing matters more.

You know what I’m coming to,

 But don’t you worry, my love.

You know I couldn’t possibly hurt you,

 ‘Cause in the end it’s to each other we belong.

And I’ll be fine, I’ll be good.

To react I’m just too numb.

And now I live with these voices screaming inside me:

“ Girl ! Oh girl! You were just so dumb”

And even when I say ,” I’m fine. I’ll be here”.

Sleep just won’t come at night,

‘Cause there are dreams I dare not dream,

While I continue to pretend I’m sleeping fine.

But the truth is, it eats me from inside;

To know all those words were all a lie.

To think that the best part of my life,

Was being shared in another bed another night.

So, Does she kiss you better than me?

Passionate enough, would you say?

Did you like the touch of her skin against yours body?

Does she put you to sleep on her lap stroking your head?

Does she know you talk in your dream?

That you don’t sleep with your eyes shut tight?

Does she love your scars like I do?

Does she know it tickles you down the spine?

Was she careful enough not to hurt you?

Did she, Did she treat you well?

And when her fingers slipped through your hair, did you;

Did you for even a sec, wish I was there?

But I can cry no more.

And pain is just too easy to fear.

And now I walk in this rain alone.

Pretending these drops were my tears real.

 Now some days the shower runs a little longer.

And just some nights I hug the pillow a little tight.

Some morning I still pretend I’m sleeping a little deeper-

-to let the tears dry from previous night.

And still sometimes I’ll find myself,

Too weak pretending those images weren’t real.

But I can’t help but cry when I find your name,

Among the very few things that I still hope for in my prayer.

But don’t you worry about me, my dear.

I’ll be fine, just need a few quick years.

 ‘Cause it’s for a girl to despise her man,

But for a wife to forgive hers.

Always..

When things go rough,

When the waves seems tough..

When the sky isn’t blue,

Just know i’ll still be with you..

When the stars aren’t twinkling bright,

When sleep just wouldn’t come at night.

Just when it seems like promises might not hold for long,

My dear, i’ll hold your hand and walk it through.

If you doubt yourself, if you cant find a clue

If you aren’t sure why, why anyone would love you.

Through your ups and your downs,

Through your cries and your laughs.

Some things need no reason, some feelings need no explanation.

So be patient, heart; cause patience is the greatest virtue.

And be hopeful, mind; cause hope is what drives us through.

So let the time come and go my dear

Cause nothing measured in time is ever real.

Just know that, from yesterday to tomorrow, from today to every day.

I’ll be your friend above all.

 Ill be here, patiently ever so.

Take all the time you want, my dear.

To get where you wanna go.

The Nightmare

When tears flow no more
When your feeling get numb
When you are too hurt to feel the pain
When your heart shatters with a smile on your face
You start to see more clearly when your eyes get foggy
You start to belive more strongly when your trust has gone for a toss.
When everything you've put at stake comes crumbling down into pieces....
That's when.
That's when you know you are just a living breathing dead body now.

When things don't shock you anymore
And when pain is just too easy to fear
When life becomes your worst nightmare
And devil smiles in front of your face..

That's when
That's when you know you've lost yourself somewhere along the road you've loved and lost.

An August Verse

An ode to the work of Pablo Neruda.....

I remember you as you were last autumn,
You were the burning and the still heart.
In your eyes the flames of twilight fought,
As the leaves fell in the water of your soul.

Clasping my arms like a climbing plant,
Your voice deep and sprinkled with care.
Bonfire of awe in which my thrust was burning,
While the sepia light twisted n turned my soul agitated...

I felt your eyes travelling on me, as that last autumn leaf fell,
While I went ahead marking the atlas of your body.
Towards which my deep longings migrated,
And my kisses fell.happy as the morning lily.

My words rained over you,stroking you to life.
And I want to do with you what spring does with the winter cherry trees.