I'M A WOMAN, SO I DIE.......

dedicated: to that innocent  five year old, who hardly knew the word "FCUK"!!

I’m a girl child, so I cry-

A prayer, not to kill me inside.

I’m a daughter, so I weep,

At all the freedom restricted to me.

I’m a girl, so I shudder,

At every extended hand of a lover.

I’m a woman so I fear,

Every shadow, love and care.

I’m a woman so I see,

With eyes of doubt, fear in me.

I’m a woman , so I talk,

In voice so low, not to grab their sight.

I’m a woman, so I hide,

Behind the veils, the curtains black.

I’m a woman, so I’m scared,

For me and my children ahead.

I’m a woman, so I know,

That to you age matters not.

I’m a woman, my hands tremble,

On that lonely road, at every rustle.

I’m a woman, I’m forced to see,

With looks of suspicion, even my life long friend he’ll be.

I’m a woman, so I withdraw,

Into the crowd, my identity not to be known.

I’m a woman , so I feel,

How that hug turns into places not to be.

I’m a woman ,so I scream,

In cries of silence, as u rip me.

I’m a woman, now I fear,

My own shadow, to me an eyesore.

I’m a woman, so it pains,

All the scars, u left open to drain.

I’m a woman, so i die,

In my own self, gasping inside.

I’m a woman, so i scream,

Seeing what’s left of me.....

But,

I’m a woman, I’m the goddess,

I’m the Lakshmi my grandma chants in her prayers.

I’m the light and joy of my house.

I’m the stupid one who runs around.

I’m the one who loves the mangoes raw.

The one who sings aloud with every song.

I’m the one who tries to fly,

Like those fishes, I’m the one who wanna dive.

I’m the one who chases the kites and falls,

The one to giggle and laugh all the time.

I’m the one who steals the fried chicken piece,

From the kitchen, when I’m sure no one would see.

I’m the one my father calls, “my First Lady”.

I’m the Queen in my mother’s dreams.

I’m a woman I’m a daughter,

A sister, lover , wife I’m a mother.

I’m a woman,I’m the one,

Who breathed life into you, while I died..

But I’m a woman....and so, I fear...................

A BEAUTIFUL SOUL

Sometimes when you are simply lying there, doing absolutely nothing at all..a smile might spread on your face, unexpectedly..a smile that could mean more than any words could ever express. Gratitude  blessed, precious. A smile lost in words. And then you wonder if you ever deserved this,something so good, so pure, so perfectly flawed. Innocence , naughtiness, cunningness and purity-A perfect culmination of these is what makes a BEAUTIFUL SOUL. You are a beautiful soul.PURE.RAW.TRUTHFUL.but then again i wonder, if something could be too good to be true.

The worst part about perfection is the fear of it ever not been so.......

But then i close my  eyes and believe, that if i was lucky enough to be writing this now, i would be lucky enough to hold on it forever...

Happiness. Bliss. Calm. Serenity. Relaxed. Joy. Gratitude  Pure...random words float in my head now. A feeling that can never be expressed or shared, but can only be felt. But when you finally find it, unexpected, you are amazed like a kid seeing an endless treasure. Dazed at the goodness that was thought to be extinct. And as i write this , my throat chokes of happiness.

I am happy, truly  Blessed, for a reason too valuable to be shared and too precious to be lost. If words could ever express the beauty and purity shared, i could keep writing forever. But words fail, emotions fail, actions fail, expressions fail and all i have is a smile.........

And i am letting it speak for me now.......

Dedicated : to the most beautiful soul......

THE OTHER HALF OF ME..

someone told me to write happy things here, once in a while..<laughs> 

for you are the most happiest thing that has ever happened to me, here it goes..FOR YOU..

for complementing my craziness,

for reflecting my weirdness,

for suppourting my every stupid thought and talks

for telling me, "you are perfect the way u are."

for the idiocrazness we've been through

and the silly stupid "higher talks" that we do

for the over action drama scenes

and promising we'll fulfill together our bucket-list

for making that journey so much less lonely

and that lime tea way more sweeter than supposed to be

for making me laugh like i’ve never laughed before

and for playing with me even when i played along

for walking with me in every step of my life

and promising me to be here forever and never apart

for you should know you are greatest gift ever

for you the most precious thing ever

for just being who u are.

for just being the "other half of me.."