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ELEMENTS…

There are a million roles one play’s in one’s life and each role is a story in itself.

Here is a collection of different roles inspired from different stories and etched together as one, with the main focus on the different roles played by a man.…

Each ‘Element’ begins where the other ends……….

Anxiety throbbed in his heart and confusion filled his head with each passing second. The choices between right and wrong are never easily made or decided upon, and this was a moment like that. She was inside, dying in pain, he could hear her voice raising and falling at times. The doctor had arrived half an hour ago with a suitcase and stethoscope . hanging around his neck, a proof of the doctorate degree.  This was their fourth child together and his head blurred with the thoughts of regret and disgust at the thoughts of bringing another soul into their life of empty stomachs, leaking roofs and silent cries. How could he afford another soul? Wasn’t he just as sinful as a murderer? Putting to stake every soul who was alive now (by god’s grace).

He sat down there, on the rugged floor burying his head between his legs and hands. Incidents from last night flashed through his blurred mind. His landlord’s  agreement of 10,000 Indian rupees for his child and his own greedy agreement to the same. Never had he dreamt such a large amount of sum together, let alone sees it. Being nothing but a chai wallah, he couldn’t even hope for it.A burden lessened and money for his family of 8 to survive on for even longer than he had imagined. But her?? His wife? No, she would never know, the deal with the doctor had been fixed.” It’s a pathetic state when you neither have the guts to live nor the courage to end your life”, he thought feeling disgusted at himself with no choice for the hundredth time that day. He was stuck in between, and while he was there, he was desperate to make both the ends meet.

 Her cries increased while its intervals decreased. Then a scream and a cry. “It’s a girl”, the old lady announced. He looked at the miracle, covered in the only cloth that was found, crying with its eyes closed and fists clenched tight. And suddenly the choice was made. She was his.

His hands extended to reach out for his baby girl.

 A touch. A touch was all that he needed………………

A touch. A touch was all that he needed………

 He was here, sitting beside me. His hands on mine. I was not sure if he knew I could see, hear and understand things. Maybe he didn’t, maybe that’s why he was letting off the 24 years of burden from his heart. I had never been the good-kind-of son, let alone being an ideal one.I always wanted things my way.I wanted to be the free eagle. Rising, rushing, and living. But somehow I always felt my father was the grieved about the fact that his chance was over, and hence was trying to extend his grips to trap me in, I battled, quarreled,  rebelled and fought my way out every time. Life was a race and I was in a hurry to finish off…but in a flash, it finished off me. And now laying here, a prisoner in my own body I wonder what if………. What if I had skipped that last peg of gin? What if had not challenged some random guy? What if I had not decided to get into the driving seat? What if I hadn’t taken that path? What if that lorry driver was delayed by a few seconds? What if……….? But my ‘what if’s floated, in amongst themselves. The accident had left me only with my breath to survive on. My life was a question of death and life.I was just as alive as a breathing body and just as dead as corpse.

And right now I was ready to trade my last hold on life just to be able to apologies to him. My heart aches as I see him here, the strongest and toughest man I had ever known, or at least thought suit had been hours, but he hadn’t said a word, and I knew how difficult it was for him too. I was his hope, his ray of sunshine; I was his yesterday, today and tomorrow. And the with the tick of each second, my throat filled with the apologies that would never ever come out.

“I am sorry, “.  He cried, holding my hands tight and bending over them, the coldness of his wet face on my hand.

My eyes closed. A tear trickled its way out slowly sliding down from my cheek, the silent apology of the silenced…..A single drop of tear..............

A drop of tear,

A hot tear slipped from her eyes and sliding down her cheek .she had lost track of time, she didn’t know how long had she been hiding in here, under the bed. But she knew one thing for sure; he was coming for her…..

The dark was slowly creeping in. she pulled her leg close, hid her face in them hand clutched her fingers tight to stop herself from shivering of fright. The sight had paralyzed her for a second: her mother choking under her father’s strength.  And then she ran, with all her life to escape her end but her dancing shadows had betrayed her...He was coming for her.

Many so often the grown up are unaware of those innocent pair of eyes watching their grave murderous acts, and when they do realize, the mute witness had to be given a free trip with the earlier deceased...Her life taker was her life giver, her father…

The darkness had spread its presence everywhere and through the light, escaping from the creek of the door, she could see a shadow walking through and forth searching, shouting and kicking anything on his path.

Her breath grew heavy and slowly, her own voice echoing in her head. She clenched her own face with the hands to stop her breath from betraying her. Suddenly the shadow stopped. A face…… 

A final scream….

A scream…a scream of joy….” Oh! My gosh!! She looks angelic” he heard her friend scream with excitement...

Walking down the stairs, elegantly and beautiful was her sister and suddenly he was hit with the realization. His little sister was getting married….. week after week running behind the planning of the ceremony, never once had that thought crossed his mind with so much intensity..And the sudden realization made him skip a beat in his heart.

He looked at her with adoration and respect. From his chubby, plumply, fashion-conscious, pimple feared, idiotic and irritating sister to a well groomed and stunningly elegant bride, there she stood, his first woman in his life. And as he stood there with a glass of beer in his hand, he remembered all those stupid cat and dog fights, how much he hate her friends coming over and giggling everywhere, how she walked around with her latest face mask on, how she would try out each new dress and jump into his room shouting, “how do I look?” ,how he was always forced to let go because he was the eldest and how he was forced to drop her and pick her up to and from everyplace. Oh! How he hated it then and how he longed and wished he could do it all once again…she was the first one to catch his secret love-story and to keep it so, to help him shop and get the best perfume to awe her sister-in-law, she was the one who taught him how to waltz and with whom he shared his first royal ball dance. She was the only one who sat next to him and understood him after the fight with his father. The chocolate fight, the toy-smashing revenges, and the pranks they played on each other, and the world war three for that last piece of mom’s pakodas... She was the little kid and his big girl at the same time. And now, here she stood, ready to fly on her own and for the first time in his life he felt lost and a little scared for her and more, for himself.  She was going to be someone else’s, his precious little gem…

She walked slowly down the stairs with her same set of giggling friends swarming around her. Maybe she noticed him lost and helpless, because she slowly walked toward him with a naughty question in her eyes, “so? How do I look?” she asked with a wink and he couldn’t help but laugh. She jumped and hugged him tight; a hug that had a million of thank you’s, love you, and miss you’s in it. A hug that assured him that he was the first man in her life and always will be.A hug that whispered “you will not lose me, ever”. A smile spread on his face. He was ready to let her go, he was ready…to let her fly………

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