TWO AND A HALF PILLS OF LOVE (DAILY, BEFORE BREAKFAST!!)

Before your wild imagination takes you to steamy love-making sessions or couples rolling over each other, allow me to disappoint you as I am to talk of none of that but an easier and just as easily forgotten form of it. To just love . Just a moment of happiness, a second of bliss in a smile, in anyone, someone, your mother, neighbour’s  friend, friend’s friend, your  ayya, your dog, cat , fish or even goose.(but please spare me from your eternal love for your latest iPod or playstation). Just anybody as long as it’s a living breathing soul. For the past two and a half weeks I was in love like that. Not a “mein tere liye mera khoon de doon ga” or the love that had the power to kill. I fell in love that made me live, happily .i fell in love with a stranger. A complete random stranger. But more than that I fell in love with what he was to me.

Its strange how a friend’s smile is never ever enough for us but a stranger’s smile lifts up our whole day. Thinking objectively I wonder what the difference was.” None “, was the only answer that would have stopped my mind from thinking and wandering more, so I gave in to myself.

My internship for the last two and a half week found me bumping into and noticing a recurring face each morning. And before I knew, it turned into a game itself, like tom and jerry . An unsaid challenge to see how long this chain went on ,unbroken. And before I knew it, I was in love with this whole game I was playing with myself. Not “love” love, but the fact that this person actually made me love myself again. For the fact that I actually had something totally stupid, idiotic and completely meaningless to wait for. For the fact that I had a part of each day that I was looking forward to.

For all those who have already guessed it as a guy, I hate to agree, it is.. but for all those who are guessing a hot-shot guy with baggy pants at the verge of completely giving into gravity, shoes that had more colours than on a rainbow, perfume that makes me puck, an  earphone matching his shoes and a look on his face that said(in joey’s style) ,”whatcha doing”, I’ll take the pleasure to disagree, its not..

He would have been just another guy next door, probably a lonely soul, the last one to be always  picked  in school. But his silence spoke louder than the girls giggling two seats in front of him and the working womens’ gossiping and bickering about their 5 min best friend who just got down at the last stop.. . There were words in him that I could read.

On the second day of my journey, as I ran inside the bus, almost hitting everybody on the way in an frantic attempt not to get completely drenched in the rain and most importantly by my co-travellers’ dripping umbrella’s, I noticed a face among the many that I had seen the other day. A pair of lost eyes, looking outside the window..As his head turned,I looked forward not to let myself be caught in the act, but then I realized he was looking at nothing in particular at all, his eyes surfed the crowd and was looking through it, into a distant void. Like people never matter or existed.Our eyes met just as fast as we broke it. A sudden fear and shyness of being caught in the act,like the hide and seek game played by the naughty eyes when  the prayed-to-be-unknown becomes known.

The days kept repeating itself,the game went on. Him sitting in the same seat with the same blank face, me leaning on all supports possible with my completely entangled  ear phones plugged in and lost in the world of Avril , Sunidhi Cauhan and Lady Antebellum. It didn’t matter where we were from or what we did or how cute and non disgusting our smiles were . No phone numbers were exchanged, no facebook request were sent. It didnt matter. It never did. And for the first time after a long time,something made sense. Feelings.

Everyday that I ran like a crazy girl into the bus, my eyes would automatically scan the heads for that familiar face among the crowd that had become my silent unaware friend in such a short while. When  found, I would hear a villain’s laugh inside me,”buhaha….i won.”<my villain hero at the moment raising his fist against destiny> I was at war with fate and destiny. And I had won once again. The game went on.

Two and a half weeks later , my last trip to my same old destination and my last gamble. The same old ‘dilwale dulhaniya-legayeng’ race for the bus, only this time there was no hero to hold my hand n pull me into the bus. But still I managed to  squeeze my way in. As my eyes searched for my unaware buddy, my mind had a couple of scary thought in-stock for me-” what if he didn’t come today? What if he missed the bus? will I lose this game? Will my last day betray me?” . And I found it- The same old seat but with a new face for me. I had lost. The ringing of a distant laugh was now raising its head and growing louder and louder.My eyes twitched in irritation , disappointment and anger like a child denied of a promised candy.i plugged on my Avril Laving even louder than usual, to dominate over my enemy’s mocking laugh.

My stop had come. I rushed out with others as fast as I could. A wet umbrella on my arm, a kick on my thigh , a stamp on my foot and an unknown hand pulling me down….arghhhhhh….but I was giving everyone their return gifts too. I was in no mood to be polite or gentle to the passenger of the chariot that had betrayed me. For some insensible stupid meaningless reason , I believed that they too had a role in it.

I looked back ,once I was out into breathable life to bid goodbye to my light green tinted bus,my casino where I had played my game well enough and almost won .Suddenly I caught sight of  the same pair of eyes, the unknown friend, those eyes…..Two seats behind his regular one. I felt a sudden stream of happiness gushing out of me and an urge to burst out into a thunder laugh. I had won.”wohoooo”… The ringing voice that had appeared again just as I brought down my iPod’s volume, was now laughed upon by my partner in crime, my inner voice, “buhahaha….”

The song suddenly changed to ,”never ever give up on yourself….as long as we are together..” and I laughed out loud before I could think and stop myself. I had won. “we had won”, my fate corrected me, as my inner voice and fate walked with me, hand-in-hand.

Ps: to you, my stranger friend, with no name , “hi”s or “bye”s…thank you…..

Note to you: do something stupid(secretly), fall in love with a familiar face, a recurring sight and don’t forget to gift yourself two and a half pills of love, daily before breakfast.

With love…..

Your bugger….