WE DESERVE NOT.

Image... image is what we care of, image is what we are scared for...

people who are not ready to risk their image for the sake of their leisure, deserve neither image nor liberty...

and now, I say, with sadness and shame.we girls do not deserve a relaxation of the curfew... we do not deserve to be equally treated. We don’t deserve to walk on the streets unscarred ...  we deserve what we are, who we are, were we are... we were not born like this... we earned it, with our silence, our negligence, our acceptance, our fright...

In the dark you all speak , thousand words to inspire.

 To provoke, to fight...your spirit on fire....

 In the light, your tongue sticks to your throat..

 With will -fighting against your image, your status, others bullshit thoughts...

To your mother you console, mourn the death of the undeserved.

But with peers you act, “dude, why waste our tears for those? ”

Shame on you, society, you deserve not what you claim to fight for.

Cause freedom is not for the feared, and liberty on you, is an eyesore.

We are scared, we  say, of the government , of the law..

But  you are scared of letting others know, what deep inside you truly  stand for..

There were people to talk for you... to push you, with promises of support.

You raise your voice, like a dumb idiot ass, only to find , this war to fight ,you were pushed alone...

You encourage us to fight for our right..

“You shouldn’t be treated equal girl, for you don’t fight “

Then one raises her voice, to be treated with silent spark.....

You don’t need to be a feminist, just have a beating heart....

You raise you voice, to walls with no ears,

You complain to the air, that has no words....

Your frustrations to those as hard as rock,

And scream out loud, “no one hears my voice”.....

But what happens to you, when you are given a chance....

A place to express, a place not to lie.....

Your image comes to light...”what will he think if i say whats on my mind?”......

You deserve not my dear,  what you claim to fight..

The sole purpose of man’s life can be bottled into a single word. Search. His need to search and fulfil his thirst for knowledge has kept him going for so long. He is always in a hunt. Like a nomad. A curios traveller. Exploring. The moment you find the purpose in your life; your life ceases to have a purpose of its own. 

SENSELESS TALKS...

It’s a crime to be different.unacceptable.sinful.its not the difference that causes the difference. It’s the fear of the unknown. What would he turn out to be? What if he makes life miserable? To be different is a suicidal. Feared, like a mad dog, set aloose.Feared. Cause a known enemy is thousand times more 'preferred' than an unknown friend. She was that friend. The unknown friend.

It had to stop. The faking. The lie. “Just swim with the flow”, “it’s easy. Look. Observe. And just learn from him! Left. Right. Left”. To where your soul inside might yearn to ask. But that question has bored itself, searching to answer thy self. Not  because of its lack of existence, but the fear of the unknown. The fear of the truth. Of what lies ahead. Comfortable with what we have. Maybe not great. Not even close to good. But atleast not harmful. Even if it was, we never complain. We never want it to change. Safer. The known.

But they never made any sense to her. Maybe it was part of the self-destruction they all warned her about. Maybe this was the path they told her not to stray in. The game that should be played for fun. The thought that should not be nurtured with questions. Question not. Think not, “why? “ , “why not?”.”Shut up your bloody mind”. Acceptance . Acceptance was the key to survival. 

'SIMPLE"Y STUPID

The most stupidest people are the most bravest....

 'Coz they don't think twice before doing something. They don't think, "what if..." before they extend a hand of help.They are not scared , because there is simply never a reason to be.They don't care about  "RIGHT" or "WRONG".Everything is right,as long as it is true .They don't THINK... they just do it. Simply. Coz they love it.....'coz they want to. Not 'coz they have to.They don't know compulsion. They understand  not, complications. They know not, selfishness. Into their heart, gets not,jealousy.

They are stupid, hence excepted from  these "normal" norms set forth by the "intelligent" society. They are free to be.

To laugh.. to cry.. To be stupid.

To sing, to dance. Because they are stupid.

They are just so stupid, that you feel stupid not being stupid....

They are crude and simple.. And simple is how we should all have been.Maybe. But we are not. And i cant help but think.. "Why? "," Why are we not simple...?" If only we could be....What they do never makes any sense to us. But i guess "that" stopped making sense long ago. When our lives stopped making sense to ourselves.Maybe we think too much.. ...Calculate too much.... Weigh too much....

Maybe,there is too much to scale and so little to care...Maybe...

Too much ,to even scare ourselves of living......

If only..
If only we could be "simple"y stupid...

Courtesy:To the most stupidest person i have ever met...you..

FALLEN, NOT BORN...........

Imagine a child fallen into this planet. Not born. Not grown up. Just fallen from void into this world..... from nothingness into everything.... what would it be like for him?... the music of the sound.. . the laughter in the colours..... the hug of the breeze... the tickling of the rain.... the touch of the sun......the innumerable shades of green......the smell of nectar....what would he feel  like ,to fall asleep on a bed of morning grass....to see the birds fly and the fishes swims?... every minute detail... every unnoticed drop... he will see it. He could feel it... he would  feel the chill of the water  flow down his body... he would hear music in every step.. he would see the trees dance to their rhythm...the laughter of the child.... the cry of the pain....tiredness , hunger, sleep and thrist.... their frequent visits would surprise him....innocent, he would be... with his only wish in life to explore, and learn.. forever...... to reach out.. fall and get up, again.... pure and innocent... free of all malice...his smile would come from heart.....ah!! wish i was that child... fallen not born... i wish i was not used to the things i am.. and everyday was a brand  new surprise...... i wish no child was fallen into this world......coz how long he could survive, i know not................

courtesy: "august rush"...

to my dear readers....i'm not a despo *laughs*......words just seem so much more deeper and powerful when i am low...... craziness usually takes care of my happiness....*smile..*

THE LOUDEST SILENCE..

She turned her head a little ,to get just a glimpse of him from the corner of her eye........ he was standing behind her..... she fully aware of his presence, trying to be ignorant, to be bold......a smile spread over her face.....she could feel his heavy breath behind her while he had stopped hers.....she stood there. Still.... Waiting.......... ...

HE......all he ever wanted was to make her his, to defeat her strength and take over her....he had waited so long  for her.... and now there she was.....

SHE...all she ever wanted was to be defeated....to surrender, her ego, attitude....everything that she owned.....to be taken over completely,by that one person..... by that one person who stole her heart....and here he was.....and she was waiting...

..... and their silence filled the white room... ..

THE WIND was blowing , like a prankster..... like he knew just what both of them were thinking, he  tried to help, but in vain.. .. they were both equally strong.... equally bad... equally stubborn.. and equally perfect....he loved seeing them both....he loved the way he could read their silence...those unspoken words ,that he knew they both understood.... the way he could feel their love.. he had seen many before, but this ... this was different... this was strangely powerful.... and it make him smile to think of it.... he decided he wouldn’t quit... he started his game...

suddenly the whole room was filled with a breeze, nothing moved .but she could feel a cold kissing her skin.... she closed her eyes..... she wanted it to be him.... he was warm.... his skin was the perfect abode for her... she could easily and effortlessly get lost in it..... all she wanted was to turn....

he could see her hair falling over her face.... he knew it disturbed her.... then there was this sudden urge to touch her.... to hold her tight in his hands and feel her...to never let go.....to make her his....to defeat her... he knew she wanted it too... but he only wished she wouldn’t  turn....

and the wind, it smiled.....

like the water oozing out of a crack....
i'll escape , into my voidness, through the crack in this world...
unnoticed, until i'm all gone and escaped.....
*smiles*

for a long time, i ran behind something i never had...
then one day i got tired, i slowed down,.
then i looked back......
and then i realised.......
i had more than i ever actually wanted....
thank you life........:)

i've no definitions.....
 i've no connections........
i belong to no category, caste or group........
no one owns me....
nothing defines me,
nothing is attached to me,
i live and die my way....
i walk and talk my way.......
i please none , so i hurt none....
i live and let others live.......
i'm simply defined in me...........

i'll write. not fight

for my own right.

i'll write . a quite.

to spread a light.

i'll write. i'll write

my hearts delight.

who knows , i might

just take my flight....

those eyes speaks the most,

 that can neither hear nor talk at all...

true isnt it...? the eyes of a person who is dumb and deaf....cut of from the very sound of existence....in his own world..... their eyes.... it sparkles, maybe its tears , maybe its something else, something we can never understand... but there is a beauty in them, something that speaks to you,..something very powerful..... nothing like you have ever seen before,something that keeps you captivated and for a second you realize.....

He looked outside...it was drizzling...

 ”like I care...”

 He put on his jacket and pulled up his hood. He didn’t want people to notice him. He hated it when they stared. “Bloody society”...he stepped out...

Then he saw her.There she stood in the drizzling drops.”Oh! So I’m not the only one mad in this mad world, huh! Nice...” he thought with a smile...”damn...what am I saying...listen to you, idiot...”

She was not the prettiest thing he had known, not even close. She didn’t even take his breath, the first time he saw her. But there was something about her. Something that you have no clue what, something that confuses one so much that you end up tagging it “hate”. It was something he was used to doing....so it was safe...Yes!! Exactly, that was what it was. He hated her. For everything. Who ever gave her the right to play with his mind? He was happy being like a wind.unnoticed, uncared.unattached.no one could ever catch him or cage him. He was everywhere but nowhere. But then she....she had noticed him. She cared for him. She understood him. She had ,at last, caught him. And he hated her for that. He had never given  anyone the right to. He was contented being bad.

And then she asks him, “Why don’t you let people see the good in you?” a simple question. But he hated her for that too. Who gave her the power to see behind his veil? ”because then they’ll always expect it” he would have replied, then. But no. He didn’t owe her any explanation. He doesn’t owe her anything at all. And he never will. He was angry. Furious.

They hadn’t even talked more than twice....she never attempted to reach out for him. She never called, mailed or talked deliberately. Many at times, she had just pass by him like he didn’t  even exist...she had never made any gesture ....but she liked him,No it was not like, or love. it was something more- he knew that.....and he?-that one question ,he never dared to ask himself.. ..she knew it, he knew it.. And he knew, she knew he knew it.... she was not hurt by the fact that he was trying to avoid her, because she was never trying not to... god!! He hated her....so much it made him sick...was it because of what she is doing, or what she isn’t...? He didn’t know...but he wanted to ...he had to stop this...

“Ha...” he thought with a sly smile on his face, “I HATE YOU”.

He walked towards her. Angry, hatred, furious...he walked, a heavier step each time, just to let her know he was coming....storming.....she saw him, she could feel his presence. She knew he was angry... she smiled inside...he came close...held her shoulders with his strong arms...he wanted to scare her...”WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”....then he pulled her close and kissed her... he now knew...guess, he always did....and maybe she did too...

THE BLACK AND WHITE RAINBOW.......

 

 There were things I always wanted to say,

But my body, your brand new prey.

Tears, they dry up inside,

Deep down, I drown in them each night.

But no. You won’t see the tears I cry,

No more do I scream on the outside.

Pained at the wound I cannot feel,

Laughing at the biggest joke called me.

I trusted you with all my soul,

And now I carry in me, a breathing hole.

I scream, I cry, trying not to understand.                                                                                   

My reflection in me, I see, blood tanned.

It rips me apart, to spot in your eyes,

Every time I say, “I love you”, that victorious smile.

                           Oh! Don’t you worry about her, my love.

                           “I’ll be fine. I’ll survive”

                           But you, she’ll never blame,

                          You are an animal, such a shameless pitiful name.

                          You’ve scarred her flesh, but her soul’s intact.

                          Broken once but now much stronger than that.

                          In many you’ll see her. In many, that you feel.

                          She won’t haunt you. With a smile she sets you free.

A gasp of hope, and now i’m back,

My death , gave birth to my life.

But do you know, what I loathe you for the most?

For painting in me, that black and white rainbow.........

Inspiration: 22  female kottayam

YOU ARE NOT A CRIMINAL....'CAUSE YOU ARE NOT BORN ONE...

You’ve killed many before, but wished you had a choice

To turn back time, and silence all the noise.

When you point your gun at me, i see inside an innocent  boy,

Betrayed by the world, a tear that never came by.

You wanna see a change. A change in me. In us.

But the fact that this’ll remain, fills you with more disgust.

And when you shout out names. I pray it was a cry,

‘cause hidden and masked inside is a crying frightened guy.

There are changes you want to see, a pain you don’t reveal.

A fire  you don’t wanna feel,” That’s eating away the best of me”

You throw your stones at me. But you miss your life much more.

 Alas! An AK-47 replaced your pencils , long before.

“wishing i could silence , every voice that said i cant”,

“wishing they would disappear, the reasons of this life”.

Your hands are steady, focus intact.          

Killed many have u before, “but why now cant i, a five year old child?”

You fall down defeated. ’cause your own war you’ve just won.

 You are not a criminal. Just ‘cause you are not born one.....

No:31248

Went to see her , did I,

Those once sparkling almond eyes.

The door half-opened, behind the parallel bars,

“No 31248”,Emerged did she, wearing strips of white and black.

She claimed she was fine, but I could spot a hidden tear,

And those violet marks, on her, visibly clear.

We held our hands, words in silence,

This punishment , her only  penance.

I had nothing to share. I didn’t want to,

Killing the pain in me, was the best I could do.

But why was she held, while I was out?

Enjoying my existence , while there, inside she rots.

After all, the same thing done, had we.

Raised our voice. Opposed the injustice we see.

The answer . It was a living scar,

I was white whilst she was black.....

HER HANDS AROUND ME AND I’M HOME……………….

He sat near the window. The rain splashing herself against the half closed window. He had left it that way. Half open. A few drops made their journey inside, landing on his smooth, clean-shaved face. Those eyes closed. Involuntarily. He sat that way. A pause. Absorbing in ,the coldness, the purity of the drops. He remembered. A flash back. The childhood hide-and-seek-game. His college love. Those football games. The drive in the rain. The pranks never caught. The spicy masala chat. The laughter. The tears. The fun. Mischief. That incident. He was alone then. Somewhere. Afraid. Frightened. Cold. Numb. Masked. Undiscovered.

Suddenly a hand slid itself from the behind. They moved forward, the fingers clinging each other into a hug. Her hair fell forward and touched his face before her skin. A kiss on his cheek. He smiled. “Everything does happen for good”, he remembered from the other scrap of memories. She put his arms around her shoulder and helped him from his wheeled-chair onto his bed. Painless. Now. He had found his antidote. He was not alone anymore………..

a poem has two parts- the words and a painting.
the mind paints on the heart, and the heart rights what on the mind.....

THE PERFECT CHILD

Written and forgotten lines by a friend-

“Why are children punished for being happy?

why are the children punished for being happy?

When their childish heart conceives no fear

From the stronger evil that looks so dear.

Not their fault the see friend in  all

When our life-long friend   turns enemy for a lady in a ball.

We love them innocent , devoid of malice

And malice we show by locking them up alone. No food . no rice.

Why are children punished for being happy?

Is it jealousy of grown ups for whom happy are only memories.

Who have failed in chasing dreams, they saw in their nurseries.

They want to be admired for the things they  don’t deserve.

By showing to others their kids, who are not gentlemen by birth, are underserved.

But little do they realize by punishing the wrong one,

A perfect child is one, who just cant  ‘learn’.”